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A SHORT STORY IDEA
With our workable theme, we can now start thinking of character and storyline.
The theme is so universal that it should conjure up dozens of real-life situations (character and setting) where we have seen it at play. For example, the reaction to unrequited love, lust, passion or friendship; the reaction to not getting that job or being fired from one; and the reaction to being turned away from that club you wanted to join.
Let’s work with one of these examples.
This will be in third person limited POV for a man.
A man’s attempt to chat up a woman is turned down. Here is the fox trying for the grapes. Like the fox, the man’s skills are ineffective in this particular context. At first, the fox believes the grapes are his for the taking. We can assume so because of his verbal assault on them after he fails to grab them. This makes us laugh at the fox’s cocksure character twice over. He has misjudged his own ability and also shown himself to be a fool in the way he deals with failure. Our character will respond in the same way to his failed attempt. Of course, we must deepen his character and the woman’s also, as she must become more than a simple bunch of grapes.
We’ll make him a little self-aware, so when she thwarts him, he knows he mustn’t knock her physically as it’s hardly a nice thing to do. The point isn’t that he wants to continue thinking well of her, but to continue thinking well of himself. He knows that by knocking her he lacks self-awareness. But his self-awareness is limited. He must knock her in some way for his own pride to stand tall. His little bit of self-awareness forces him to look elsewhere for a reason to bring her to heel. Fortunately, he finds two. This gives him deeper character, creates a better twist, adds to the humour and doesn’t distort the theme in any way.
The inciting incident is when the fox makes the first grab for the grapes and fails to win them. In our story, it will be when the man makes the first attempt to grab the woman’s attention but fails to impress her. Here …and did his best to reach them by jumping as high as he could into the air. But it was all in vain, for they were just out of his reach… is the middle part of the fable. In our story, we could possibly have up to three little events (attempts to attain the goal) in the middle section (also depending on story length) where our character (like the fox) is struggling to gain the woman’s interest (the grapes for the fox). Each failed attempt will embarrass him that little bit more and so make him more determined to achieve his goal on the next attempt. This will ratchet up the tension. After he has completely failed to win her over, we get irony and the twist where, ultimately, he succeeds in demonstrating his lack of self-awareness.
THE STORY
Miss Modifier
When she began reading, his heart rate quickened.
Soft lilting voice. Scottish? Red autumnal hair tumbling around her shoulders; bright, clear, grey-green eyes; warm, welcoming mouth; cardigan and jeans bragging of her curves; slim elegant neck with smooth pale skin.
He wanted to lick her neck like a child craving ice cream. His mouth was actually watering.
How to play it to impress her?
Oh, but that red hair! A hot sexy sunset right here in the classroom. When he knew her better, he’d recite some romantic lines… To wake with you, is to wake with the sunrise.
Secretly, he punched himself with delight at this turn of phrase. He really should start writing poetry seriously. A crime to let part of his talent go to waste.
To fall asleep next to you is to fall asleep with the sun on my face.
The power of words! A proper wordsmith, he was. He loved the word wordsmith. Shakespeare and James Bond both mixed up in there. At that party, that bird asking him what he did for a living. ‘I’m a wordsmith actually.’ The way her eyes lit up with curiosity and admiration! Saying he was a writer had nowhere near the same punch. James Bond never bloody well described himself as a public servant, did he?
The new love of his life stopped reading, looked up and smiled. The smile accentuated a little dimple in her left cheek, making her look even cuter.
Before anyone else could, he jumped in with, “Hi.”
Her sparkling grey-green eyes fell on him, making his heart boom in his ears.
“I think it resonates.”
Frown lines touched her forehead.
“I mean, I love your humour. It’s there. It’s really there. It touches me.”
The frown lines deepened.
Damn!
“I mean… in an ironic way. Yeah, in an ironic way.”
What was her story about, anyway? If she wasn’t so distracting, he might have actually listened to it. So whose fault was that?
“You see my character’s illness as resonating, humorous and ironic?” she asked.
From across the room, Dotty spoke up, pulling him off the hook. “I found it quite moving.”
The young woman smiled her way. “Thank you.”
Now Roger piped up, “Too many modifiers.”
“Oh?” she said.
Modifiers? What a bloody nitpicker! He’d never taken stocky, bald, bearded Roger for a homo, just a great big drip.
Roger went banging on about the ‘overabundance of modifiers’ while she sat there nodding away, taking it all in. He pressed his knuckles against his temples. Roger’s voice was like the relentless drip of water. He cracked his knuckles, seeing them embedded in Roger’s fat, bald head. He jerked upright. He must rescue her from this tosspot.
“Actually,” he interrupted, silencing Roger. All heads turned his way, including hers. Oh, those eyes! “I think we need to look at the bigger picture here. Those modifiers offer a deeply pronounced and heartfelt expression of the story’s undercurrent.”
One of the older devils in the room was grinning at him.
“Excuse me?” she said.
Yeah, Scottish. Definitely Scottish. Tension in the voice brought it out more. He prayed they wouldn’t be arguing over Scottish and English league football in the coming months. Better she hatred football like most women. It would save on pointless tribal squabbling.
Unexpectedly, she swung back to Roger. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
Blood rushed to his cheeks. Did she just blow him away? For Roger? Roger didn’t know his head from his ass. Modifiers, indeed.
What now? Wait till break time, that’s what!
At the break, she rose, he rose. He smiled, she frowned. Even his feet melted under her eyes.
“I’ll tell you one thing,” he said.
Now she smiled. Yeah, he was winning her over. If he closed his eyes and breathed her in, he knew he’d smell the Highland heather. But he dared not. Not yet. He really had to write that poem. Only a poem could express all this properly.
“Are you a football fan?” he asked.
Clouds appeared from nowhere, the sun vanished and a gust of wind swept her away. He heard her tut loudly, or was that the metallic click of the door’s lock closing behind her.
He scratched his scalp. What in the world had gone wrong?
He felt hollow as a football.
But soon hot prickly blood flooded his chest.
That dimple on her left cheek. Up close, it made her smile look a bit off centre.
Wait! Wait! He slapped his cheek. Don’t do this! Don’t put her down! It’s beneath you. It’s creepy. You’re better than that.
He was alone in the room. Her story lay on her desk. He licked his lips, picking it up. What was it about?
Soon a smooth smile spread across his face. Actually, Roger, you’ve got a good point, mate. Miss Modifier does seem to like topping up her nouns with tons of adjectives, compound adjectives and adjectival nouns. And what in God’s name is this? Four, yes four long clumsy adverbs. He laughed aloud, and dropped the story back on her desk.
He’d actually been prepared to give her another chance but… well… his woman had to be his equal, not some inferior talent. Looks weren’t really enough in the end, were they?
Another thing! And he wasn’t re
ally criticizing her appearance so he was hardly being sexist. This wasn’t about looks at all, but FAKERY. If she was so fond of modifiers, maybe she’d used one on her hair. How often, anyway, do you see such a natural and beautiful colour? He wasn’t accusing her of it. Just something to think about, eh! He might have written his special poem for her all based on colour from a bottle.
He shook his head in despair. He couldn’t stand fake people. He didn’t even know her name. It didn’t matter now. He reckoned he knew quite enough about her.
OTHER TYPES OF STORY
If Miss Modifier were a longer story, it would be possible to go on developing the young woman’s character and have witty exchanges between him and her and possibly involving other characters. The story might consist of dark tones, underwritten with a sense of menace, or it could be a light and humorous story like this one, or even true farce. It could involve a double payoff on the theme. For example, he pursues her, she rejects him. Then, aggrieved and snubbing her internally, he actually behaves less ridiculously to her, which in turn prompts her to take a greater interest in him. But his pride pushes him to reject her now. Then she puts him down because she feels thwarted.
Very short story (flash fiction) pieces like this one will sometimes use a different format than longer short stories. For example, a format involving e-mail exchanges on a dating website using our theme might accomplish its task in well under a thousand words. The exchanges might be constrained whereas the subtext, witty or otherwise, delivers the real messages; or the exchanges could be loud, farcical and in your face.
The writer might like to try a series of storylines, lengths and formats based on a single fable’s theme. It would be a very good way to practise manipulating the theme and developing overall literary skills.
ANOTHER IDEA
In our analysis, we looked at the plot in the physical and emotional abstract because it may allow us to spot other potential ideas more easily, as well as manipulate the plot more easily.
Here is the abstract physical plot: A struggles to possess B. After several failed attempts, A gives up. This is the abstract psychological or emotional plot: A desires B; B holds back from A’s persistent advances. So A goes off in a huff, accusing B of being worthless to cover for his own sense of inadequacy.
So let’s manipulate the plot a little.
The new abstract physical plot is as follows: A attacks B until B befriends A; then A returns friendly behaviour.
What’s going on here?
The abstract emotional side shows us clearly: A desires B but through feelings of inadequacy goes on the offensive and attacks B as though already turned down by B. Only after B shows A some friendly and personal interest is A able to reciprocate in a friendly way.
Let’s look at a simple early draft plan with third person limited male POV.
A woman demonstrates rudeness to a recent male arrival in her workplace, even though he treats her as fairly and professionally as everyone else. The inciting incident is her first open rudeness toward him. The rudeness can escalate in three little events, ratcheting up the tension and suspense. We don’t have access to the thoughts of this woman, so the reader has no idea what’s really going on. We can have a red herring where the man, thinking he has done something to offend her, even imagines he can guess what this might be and wonders if he should apologize for it. Through another female character, the man gets a hint at what’s happening and finally responds to her rudeness by unexpectedly flirting with her. Now she reciprocates with smiles, charm, etc. The man is astonished at the transformation and tells the other woman about it. “I thought she hated me.” This woman explains, “She must really fancy you but thought she’d never have a chance dating you.” The man frowns at this. The woman continues, “Her feelings of frustration and hurt brought it all out of her.” The man is still confused. “Doesn’t she realize I’d think her horrible for her behaviour and want nothing to do with her as a consequence?” The woman replies, “Not really. See, it’s not about you. It’s about her and her pride.” “But how does she justify her behaviour?” he asks. “Oh, that one’s easy,” his woman friend explains. “No doubt she believes that all men like a good challenge.”
We manipulated our abstract plot to help us develop this idea. This new plot is like a reverse of the short story’s plot. Through feelings of insecurity which prompt her to believe that she would be a failure with this man, she ridicules and is rude to him to cover up for her hurt pride. But when he responds in a flirting manner, she then feels she has a chance and so responds positively. But though we have reversed aspects of the plot, we have kept our theme intact. The irony is obvious and gives us the twist (as usual), and the last sentence adds a punch to it all. No doubt she believes that all men like a good challenge. No more writing is necessary after this sentence and indeed would only take the punch out of it.
THE SECOND FABLE
The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs
A man and his wife had the good fortune to possess a goose that laid a golden egg every day. Lucky though they were, they soon began to think they were not getting rich fast enough, and, imagining the bird must be made of gold inside, they decided to kill it in order to secure the whole store of precious metal at once. But when they cut it open they found it was just like any other goose. Thus, they neither got rich all at once, as they had hoped, nor enjoyed any longer the daily addition to their wealth.
This fable adds the message: Much wants more and loses all.
Let’s play around with this message to familiarize ourselves with it. How about we say the message or theme this way: greed encourages stupidity. Or what about easy wealth encourages greed which in turn encourages stupidity? Let’s push harder and see if we can get a saying out of it. What about stupidity follows greed like the heel follows the toe. That’s sharp, not bad, but not quite the status of a saying. We really want some irony in there. How about we use the following:
Greed weakens a man’s eyesight: the wider his greedy eyes, the narrower his vision; eventually, if the condition persists, his eyes will enlarge to the point of blindness.
Though the characters are human, they are still simple pawns whose sole purpose is to deliver the message. We are shown nothing of them, only told things about them. They are greedy and impatient but not necessarily always stupid. Here, their greed dwarfs their reasoning which may not otherwise be the case. In other words, we are given their attitude to the particular set of circumstances. That’s all we know about them, but it is very relevant.
Where is the conflict? Lucky though they were, they soon began to think they were not getting rich fast enough, and, imagining the bird must be made of gold inside, they decided to kill it in order to secure the whole store of precious metal at once. The conflict is condensed into this single sentence. The fable is too short and precise to exploit it but supposing we wanted to turn this fable itself into a short story. This single sentence would expand into the middle part of the story where the tension and suspense would rise with the couple’s growing greed and impatience. What should they do to get the eggs quicker? They might try something like feeding the bird laxatives. They might start to believe the bird is just stubborn and could drop ten eggs a day if she wanted. Eventually they will hit on killing her to get the eggs all in one go. Character development will add to the conflict. One may be happy with the way the eggs are coming while the other is growing impatient and spending the wealth faster than it is coming out. They may squabble over this. Or both are equally impatient and the squabbling is about the best way forward in dealing with the bird.
Here’s the plot in the abstract. The physical side amounts to this: A (couple) has B (goose) which means B gives golden eggs to A. But A wants eggs quicker than B is willing to or can give, so A kills B to gain direct access to the eggs.
The psychological or emotional side is as follows: A is overjoyed with B because B gives riches to A. But soon A’s greed demands B produce riches faster. B cannot give A riche
s faster, so A eagerly slaughters B to gain direct access to the riches.
A glance at the plot in this bare-bones way might suggest a crime story of greed and murder.
No particular setting here.
The couple’s greed means they end up with nothing. Here is the irony and the twist. Of course, to kill the goose that laid the golden egg is a very popular expression in our culture, so the ending lacks the punch it would have had if it was less well known. Yet, the fable still has wit because it works so well as a statement about a universal human flaw.
The characters are mere pawns. With character depth, the potential for drama is obvious, particularly in a story of greed and murder.
AN IDEA BASED ON THE FABLE’S ANALYSIS
A blackmailer is getting regular payments, but soon her greed and impatience make her push her victim for more money. Then she pushes harder again. The victim pleads with the blackmailer to stop pushing. The blackmailer’s response is to push harder still. At the end of his tether, the victim refuses to pay any more. What will the blackmailer do now? If she really exposes her victim, she loses all payments. So she agrees not to raise the payments again. Unfortunately for her, the victim refuses to pay another penny. He thinks she will only raise her demands again at some point, anyway. He may even go to the police to turn himself and the blackmailer in.
The blackmailer has not only killed the golden goose, but may soon find herself in deep trouble as a result of her greed and impatience. What will she do now? Kill her victim? Is she that type? What else can she do to keep her victim quiet? Or will he go to the police? If she promises no longer to blackmail him, why would he bother? She contacts him to find out his state of mind. Discovering him penniless because of her greed and with a troubled mind over the crime for which she was blackmailing him, he really is on the point of contacting the police. Desperate to prevent him, she offers him back some of the blackmailing money. He accepts.